I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize