I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
