just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
