Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
