Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
do nipples grow back?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
