i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
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