The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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