if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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