Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
So. Much. Porn.
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