He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
