I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
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