i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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