sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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