what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
