Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Randomize
