I am spending my child support on dildos
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize