just tell him i said nine months
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize