just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
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