I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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