remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
