butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
im drinking this country out of the recession.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
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