Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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