i used baking grease as lip gloss
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
