I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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