I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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