thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
