i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
