Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
