Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
