I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
