Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
