9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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