If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
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