you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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