He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
