Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
she told me i tasted like america
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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