oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
