i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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