It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
