Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
