i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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