This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
it was like eating out sand paper
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Randomize
