could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
