Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Welp...herpes.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
My vagina just clenched in fear
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