This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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