He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
