she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
