Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
you never un-have a 4some
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
