Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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