i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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