I just saw a hot homeless man
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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