just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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