he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Randomize
