Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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